What Was Yvonne Up To?
"I'm baaaack!" shouted Yvonne as she swung the front door open with a loud crash. Snowball sprang up from the sofa immediately and made a dash for the window. But it was too late: Yvonne had seen him and got to him before he could leap out of the window.
"No!" said Snowball, wriggling in an attempt to free himself from Yvonne's grasp, "No! Not like dis!"
"No, not like dis," said Yvonne. She dropped him. He sat on the floor, looking up at her with a stunned look on his fluffy white face. Yvonne pulled her oracle ball out of her satchel. "That pie eating contest? It will end in your death, because the pies will be banana cream pies."
"No!" exclaimed Snowball. "Not banana cream! No, no, not my nemesis! No!" With that he leapt out the window screaming about banana cream pies and about how he had a nightmare about one a long time ago when he was a young coney, but fortunately he moved too far away from the house for anyone to hear him for too long.
"Yvonne! Yvonne! Yvonne!" said Savio, hopping around her in excitement.
"Why were you gone for so long?" asked the brash young Angelica.
"Tell you what," said Yvonne, picking up a broom, a mop, and a bunch of other cleaning implements all at once, "I'll tell you what happened while you clean up my house."
"But--" stammered Angelica. But it was in vain and Yvonne did not listen to her pleads.
In place of Snowball Yvonne now assumed her sofa throne and resumed dictatorship over her household. Savio sat in front of her, waiting for the story although he himself may not have even been aware that that was what he was doing.
"How come Savio isn't cleaning the house?" grumbled Angelica.
"Because he's a dog and that would just be counterproductive," replied Yvonne. "Now, do you want to hear a story or what?"
In reply, Angelica mumbled some things that were probably not even real words.
Heroes of the Wild West, Part 2
Nearly a week had gone by since Snowball showed up, and recently he had started lazing around the house without doing anything. Now he sat upon the sofa, watching TV, with Savio feeding him potato chips. He was beginning to wear out his welcome, and Angelica told him so.
"No, no, no," said Snowball. "You don't understand. I can't just go. Dere's guys out there lookin' for me! I'm kinda a criminal, ya know?"
Neglecting to ask the obvious question (which was what Snowball had done to become a criminal) Angelica instead said, "You can't stay here forever. What happens if Yvonne comes back?"
"Yvonne?" exclaimed Snowball. "Yeah, I remember dat kid. Good kid. Survived da zombie apocalypse like you wouldn't believe. But don't worry. She won't mind if I assume dictatorship over her household."
"Well, I will," said Angelica, stamping her foot.
"What I gotta do to receive hospitable housing for just a few days?" asked Snowball with sad, blue eyes. He did not mean the question literally, but Angelica was a very literal rabbit.
"Tell me a story, if you're immortal and all that, like you said," she demanded.
"Actually I ain't tested that immortality theory yet. Gotta wait until the end of the world to figure that one out!" said Snowball. Then he shook his head several times, slowly, and asked, "Why you care about stories, anyway?"
Savio, in reply, blurted out, "Yvonne was going to tell us a story about two cowbunnies named Wayne and Brook encountering you in a bakery but she never told us that story and that makes me sad."
"Dat story! Dere's a good one. Mostly with a lot of boom booms and stuff like that," replied Snowball. Snowball sighed. "I will tell you that story if you allow me to stay here for just a few more days."
"Fine," said Angelica, who, despite being bossy, was also rather easily persuaded.
Snowball propped himself up on some pillows and slurped some soda served to him by Savio. "Good for da voice, ya know?" said Snowball.
Heroes of the Wild West, Part 1
Angelica was reading a book by a rabbit named Harriet Hoppington. Savio was also reading the book. Or, really, he was leaning obnoxiously over Angelica's shoulder and dripping slobber on the pages of the book.
Yvonne came in from a recent expedition to the secret deserts of the Middle East in search of a lost artifact -- or something like that -- and hung her dusty jacket up on the coat rack. "So, what are you reading?" she asked.
"The Adventures of Harey Butter," said Angelica.
"That is a gross name!" exclaimed Yvonne. Then, after a moment of thought, she said, "Wait, who's that by and what's it about?"
"Harriet Hoppington," answered Angelica. "It's about a cowbunny. You know, a cow-herding horse-riding hero of the west!"
"What!? Where'd you get that from?" said Yvonne, ripping the book from Angelica's paws. "This is heretical garbage! That rabbit Harriet doesn't know what a true hero is! I went to high school with her, you know. She couldn't read. I don't think she's even writing those books. I think she pays someone else to use a word generator to stick words together and make a book."
"Well, who's to say you could do any better?" retorted Angelica.
"Me, of course," replied Yvonne. "I am the expert on me after all. And I have a degree in Literary Heroics."
"That doesn't exist. You made that up," said Angelica.
"Well, Ms. Hoppington has no degrees whatsoever, made up or not," said Yvonne.
"Tell me a story about heroes of the wild west, then!" said Angelica.
"Challenge accepted!" answered Yvonne. "And Savio, could you please sit down?" Savio was now running around the house chasing tennis balls that Veronica threw for him. When Yvonne asked him to sit down, he instead kept running but ended up crashing into a sofa and getting his head stuck in it. After that he obviously stopped chasing tennis balls.
"Good!" said Yvonne. "So..."
HEY! this is yvonne
Your narrator... sort of.