Heroes of the Wild West, Part 2

Nearly a week had gone by since Snowball showed up, and recently he had started lazing around the house without doing anything. Now he sat upon the sofa, watching TV, with Savio feeding him potato chips. He was beginning to wear out his welcome, and Angelica told him so.

"No, no, no," said Snowball. "You don't understand. I can't just go. Dere's guys out there lookin' for me! I'm kinda a criminal, ya know?"

Neglecting to ask the obvious question (which was what Snowball had done to become a criminal) Angelica instead said, "You can't stay here forever. What happens if Yvonne comes back?"

"Yvonne?" exclaimed Snowball. "Yeah, I remember dat kid. Good kid. Survived da zombie apocalypse like you wouldn't believe. But don't worry. She won't mind if I assume dictatorship over her household."

"Well, I will," said Angelica, stamping her foot. 

"What I gotta do to receive hospitable housing for just a few days?" asked Snowball with sad, blue eyes. He did not mean the question literally, but Angelica was a very literal rabbit.

"Tell me a story, if you're immortal and all that, like you said," she demanded.

"Actually I ain't tested that immortality theory yet. Gotta wait until the end of the world to figure that one out!" said Snowball. Then he shook his head several times, slowly, and asked, "Why you care about stories, anyway?"

Savio, in reply, blurted out, "Yvonne was going to tell us a story about two cowbunnies named Wayne and Brook encountering you in a bakery but she never told us that story and that makes me sad."

"Dat story! Dere's a good one. Mostly with a lot of boom booms and stuff like that," replied Snowball. Snowball sighed. "I will tell you that story if you allow me to stay here for just a few more days."

"Fine," said Angelica, who, despite being bossy, was also rather easily persuaded.

Snowball propped himself up on some pillows and slurped some soda served to him by Savio. "Good for da voice, ya know?" said Snowball.

"Okay, so dere's this town called El Cono--"

"That's where I'm from!" interjected Angelica.

"Yeah, okay. Do you always interrupt this much?" said Snowball. Then he continued. "Okay, El Cono. There's a bakery there--yeah, yeah, I'm sure you know it, little frilly dress bunny girl. Could you please not interrupt me now? Thank you. Bakery. El Cono. Dis bakery is called the Twelve Sisters Bakery. Run by a bunny named Isabella. So one day, two bunnies go to this bakery. These bunnies are mean outlaw cowbunnies! One is the infamous Texas Red. Got his posters all over the world! Then there's his partner, a little pink bunny named Aenaea. You might think she couldn't hurt a fly, ya know? More on dat later.

Of course when Isabella saw these wanted criminals in her bakery, she called the sheriff. The sheriff of El Cono is named Howdy. Though I don't know if dat's his first name or his last. Who'd name their kid Howdy? Never mind. Dat ain't the point of this story. Point is, the sheriff didn't wanna come. He was afraid of Texas Red. So Isabella knew she would have to turn to someone else: the Outlaw Hunters. Named after the football team of the Los Heros University, ya know? Fun fact!

When Wayne and Brook showed up, the drama began. Wayne and Texas Red were rivals. They had a nice, long, dramatic stare down. Texas Red has pink eyes, by the way. Another fun fact. Did you know bunnies could have such colorful eyes? I know I do! I got the most bestest blue eyes in all da world! But dat ain't the point. 

'Wayne,' growled Texas Red.

'Red,' snarled Wayne.

Then I came burstin' right in! I had a sudden craving for cupcakes, ya know? And I heard dat the Twelve Sisters Bakery had the best cupcakes in the state. It's true, by the way! But I didn't get a chance to eat those cupcakes that day. Because when I stepped in the door, I set eyes on Aenaea, and right then I knew she was the one for me. And she knew I was the one for her.

'Oh, Aenaea, I see da beauty in ya now!' I said.

Texas Red didn't like that much and my little interrupted caused this whole big shootout! 

Wayne and Texas Red had a duel. A nice, long, dramatic duel. Wayne won and got that Texas Red, he sure did! But it wasn't the end of Texas Red. He went howling away into the sunset: 'I'll get you, Wayne!' I said that to Wayne once, too. But after that I challenged him to a pie eating contest. We still haven't gotten around to it, though. Zombie apocalypse and all, ya know?

As for me and Aenaea, our love was brief. 'Cause pretty soon Aenaea just grew a big thick new coat of fur, and it weren't nice fur. No, she became like Bigfoot or somethin'! Then I said, 'You're gettin' a little hairy. Better get outta here!' And I got outta there! Good thing I did, too. Though I think she's hunting me to this day. She'll get her revenge one day, I'm sure. Good thing I respawn, though!"

Snowball continued to talk for so long that both Angelica and, believe it or not, Savio had fallen asleep. Soon enough Snowball talked himself to sleep, too. As a matter of fact, he even drained Veronica's batteries until she was asleep, too. According to certain news sources, the entire countryside for about 100 miles took a nap that afternoon.