What Was Yvonne Up To?
"I'm baaaack!" shouted Yvonne as she swung the front door open with a loud crash. Snowball sprang up from the sofa immediately and made a dash for the window. But it was too late: Yvonne had seen him and got to him before he could leap out of the window.
"No!" said Snowball, wriggling in an attempt to free himself from Yvonne's grasp, "No! Not like dis!"
"No, not like dis," said Yvonne. She dropped him. He sat on the floor, looking up at her with a stunned look on his fluffy white face. Yvonne pulled her oracle ball out of her satchel. "That pie eating contest? It will end in your death, because the pies will be banana cream pies."
"No!" exclaimed Snowball. "Not banana cream! No, no, not my nemesis! No!" With that he leapt out the window screaming about banana cream pies and about how he had a nightmare about one a long time ago when he was a young coney, but fortunately he moved too far away from the house for anyone to hear him for too long.
"Yvonne! Yvonne! Yvonne!" said Savio, hopping around her in excitement.
"Why were you gone for so long?" asked the brash young Angelica.
"Tell you what," said Yvonne, picking up a broom, a mop, and a bunch of other cleaning implements all at once, "I'll tell you what happened while you clean up my house."
"But--" stammered Angelica. But it was in vain and Yvonne did not listen to her pleads.
In place of Snowball Yvonne now assumed her sofa throne and resumed dictatorship over her household. Savio sat in front of her, waiting for the story although he himself may not have even been aware that that was what he was doing.
"How come Savio isn't cleaning the house?" grumbled Angelica.
"Because he's a dog and that would just be counterproductive," replied Yvonne. "Now, do you want to hear a story or what?"
In reply, Angelica mumbled some things that were probably not even real words.
"The first time that I left it was because I was going to spend a week with my family. See, it was my mother's birthday later that week and I was going to stay for the whole week. But most of that week I didn't spend with my family. The enemy invaded that week, and we called up the local bunny militia -- which included my entire family -- but we couldn't defeat the enemy. They were too much for us. I was captured.
I was taken to the home planet of our pink and purple enemies. There they did not actually torture me. We had a swell time. We played cards and talked and had philosophical debates. In the meantime, since I am a rabbit, and a seer rabbit at that, I managed to dig a tunnel out of the prison and escape. I soon found myself stranded in a barren desert. The sand in that desert, by the way, is a pinkish color. Somewhere in the desert I found what looked like an old pirate ship, and in that ship I discovered a mob of dreadful monkeys. Personally, I hate monkeys.
I fought off the monkeys, fixed the old pirate ship and upgraded it with some duct tapes and rocks, and made it into a spaceship. Then I flew back to my home planet and returned here. Of course as soon as I got back, I realized that it was my father's birthday that week, and so I hurried away back to my family.
But our pink and purple enemies had returned. Somehow or other I ended up becoming commander of a guerilla bunny force. We brought the fight to the planet of the pink and purple enemies. We won very quickly, and our pink and purple enemies surrendered. But the battle was hard won. During the battle, I met with this little bunny whose name was Pestie -- at least that's what I called her -- and Pestie was a deserter. She had joined the pink and purple enemies. Quickly learning her weaknesses, I defeated her with a table lamp.
From there, I returned triumphantly back to our planet and came back here."
"I don't believe all that," Angelica said before Yvonne had even finished speaking.
"Why not, my little skeptic?" asked Yvonne, making a funny face at Angelica. Savio laughed at this before he got distracted by his own tail and began chasing it.
"Because it's all so ridiculous," replied Angelica.
Yvonne smiled at Angelica. "Keep on sweeping, nonbeliever bunny," said Yvonne as she hopped away to the doorway to the library. While she was standing in the doorway, she turned back and added, "Someday I'm going to set you on a spaceship and shoot you out into space. Please excuse me now; I have to go read Plato's Apology of Socrates."
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HEY! this is yvonne
Your narrator... sort of.