Snowball's Pie Contest
Sipping her coffee, Yvonne flipped through the pages of the RSP newspaper. She ignored the articles about politics, sports, gossip, and grating cheese, and went right to the section about Snowball. Yvonne knew there was always at least one article about Snowball.
But today, there was something particular she wanted to know. And sure enough, she found her quarry under the big, black ink letters at the top of one page stating: "SNOWBALL'S LONG-AWAITED PIE CONTEST FINALLY COMES TO A HEAD". Yvonne read on.
"Per many fans' requests, Snowball and Wayne Buck finally met together concerning a pie contest that Snowball had challenged Wayne to many years ago. They arranged that the contest should take place on Monday, which was yesterday now, and that the contest should be overseen by the owners of the Twelve Sisters' Bakery in El Cono.
Randall Carrotton, a respected reporter and journalist for RSP, interviewed Wayne Buck and asked him why they had chosen the Twelve Sisters' Bakery. Wayne's reply was, 'They make good pies.' Many fans have taken Wayne's wisdom to heart, and Isabella, the owner of the bakery, reports that she has had a sudden influx of business.
But back to the pie contest. Snowball and Wayne met yesterday in El Cono, just as they had arranged. The contest consisted of twelve different 'levels', as Snowball called them, with each level containing two hundred pies of the same flavor. The first level was apple pies, which is Wayne's personal favorite flavor of pie, while the second level was an unknown special flavor, which Snowball claimed was his favorite. Those pies are simply called Snowball's Mysterious Pies, since no one has any other name for them nor does anyone, other than Isabella and Snowball, know what the ingredients are.
The twelfth level was banana cream pies, one of Wayne's other favorites. However, as soon as Snowball got a whiff of the banana cream, witnesses say that his eyes widened and he started shaking. Then he screamed and ran from the table, yelling, 'No, no! Not like dis! The pies are death!' Bystanders called the local sheriff, Howdy, concerned that Snowball's panicking could disturb the nearby retirement home's game of bingo. Howdy tried to apprehend Snowball, but Snowball managed to escape and, in the end, disrupt the bingo game. He also managed to set the grocery store on fire and then himself as well. Fortunately for him, he does respawn. However, some experts have debunked this entire story.
Psychologists from the Royal Institute of Intellectual Pursuits (RIIP) are attempting to locate Snowball so that they can study him. These psychologists have been considering the effects of banana cream pie on the rabbit psyche. In fact, Agent Dr. Rabbit Mulder, a psychologist and agent of the Imperial Bureau of Bunny Investigation (IBBI), has a theory connecting banana cream pies to alien abduction. Dr. Bunniana Jones suspects that fear of banana cream pies could be linked to some sort of trauma, however, he is not convinced, at least in this case, that it has to do solely with alien abduction.
'After all, everyone knows Snowball would never be abducted,' says Dr. Jones. 'If anything, he'd be the one doing the abducting...'"
Yvonne put the newspaper down as soon as it started to advertise hats in the shape of sandwiches, hats which were, apparently, endorsed by Snowball. But Yvonne did not need to know that. All she needed to know is that her prophecy about banana cream pies had come true. She hopped into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and brought out a pie to eat for lunch. It was a banana cream pie.
She didn't even like banana cream pie.
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HEY! this is yvonne
Your narrator... sort of.