Back To School

"Story! Story! Story!" Angelica kept repeating.

"I'm sorry," said Yvonne, "but that doesn't really count as communication. Is there something you need to tell me?"

Angelica rolled her eyes. "I mean I want you to tell us a story!" she whined.

"You whine a lot," remarked Savio.

"No, no stories today," said Yvonne. "Well, not from me, anyway, but you don't seem to understand that yet..." she muttered to herself.

"Why not? Why no stories?" asked Angelica with a groan.

"Because you have work to do today," said Yvonne. She disappeared into the library. Angelica knew what that meant. A few minutes later Yvonne reappeared with a humongous stack of books. 

"This week we'll start out small," explained Yvonne, expertly balancing the huge pile of books as she spoke, "I'll only give you 205 reading assignments this week. I suggest you focus on the Victorian period in literature this week, so you understand just why I believe it's so overrated. Or maybe you won't understand. There's also some good myths and legends in there, and an army survival manual. Never know when you might get stranded somewhere. You should also try some Dante and Milton."

When she finished speaking she suddenly lost control of the books, and she and all the literature fell forward with a loud crash! Angelica was crushed under the weight of the best that was ever thought and written. And the most mediocre that was ever thought and written.

"Someday, when you're older," Yvonne said, popping out from under all the books, "I might have you read some Nietzsche."

"I want reading assignments too!" said Savio, spinning in circles.

"Very well," replied Yvonne. She pulled a book out of the pile and gave it to Savio. 

"Green... Eggs... and... and... Ham!" Savio read slowly. "I can't wait to read it!" he barked, spinning again.

"Didn't you read that last week...?" asked Angelica.

"Well, didn't you read Pascal's Wager last week? Well, you were supposed to," answered Yvonne, dropping yet another book on top of Angelica. "Oh, here's Porphyry, too," added Yvonne. She hopped towards the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Angelica, overwhelmed by the literature.

"To do my own studies, of course. I'll be back. Maybe I'll tell you a story next time," said Yvonne. She left out the house, but a moment later she popped back in the doorway and said, "You know, Snowball once said that he controlled the literature." And then she left them with that thought. Whatever that was supposed to mean.

Angelica sat motionless in the piles of words. Savio read Green Eggs and Ham over and over again, and even memorized it for a few seconds, but then it was lost to him and he thought about squirrels and pancakes.