A Feline Vacation
Angelica came hopping up to Yvonne, followed by Savio who, as usual, looked clueless. "Yvonne! Yvonne! Yvonne!" said Angelica.
"What? What? What?" said Yvonne.
"Yay! Yay! Yay!" said Savio, although he wasn't sure why.
"I finished all of my reading assignments this week!" said Angelica, still hopping up and down in her excitement.
"Really?" said Yvonne, surprised. "But you had 322 this week alone."
"I finished them!" repeated Angelica. In a flash she disappeared, and in a flash she reappeared with a huge mountain of books. She dropped them on top of Yvonne.
After a few moments Yvonne found her way out of the maze of books. She reemerged, taking a straggling book from off the top of her head. "Hm," she said, glancing at it. "Milton. I haven't finished reading it. You know, too many helicopter dance lessons this week."
"Since I finished my assignments would you tell me a story?" asked Angelica sweetly.
"Ohhhh!" said Savio. "That's why I was excited. I forgot."
"Usually," Yvonne replied to Savio. Then she turned to Angelica. "Very well. I guess you earned it. Get ready for a story, kiddos."
"There once were three cats--"
"Why do they have to be cats?" asked Savio.
"Because I have a nice picture for the occasion. The picture is above us. Anyway, don't ask questions when I'm telling you a story or I'll give you Latin translation assignments, even though you don't know Latin.
There once were three cats: Butter, Sticker, and Emmett. These cats were at an airport, intending to go on a vacation to the great cat city of Mus Toyia. However, when the cats reached the airport, an argument broke out among them. Sticker said that he didn't want to go to Mus Toyia.
'Why not?' asked Butter.
'Because I don't like it,' replied Sticker.
'But you've never been there,' said Emmett.
'I just know I don't like it,' answered Sticker. 'I'd rather stay home than go there.'
'Compared to Mus Toyia, home's nothing, Sticker!' said Butter.
'Don't you try to make me go, because if you do, I'll make Mus Toyia just like home, Butter!' said Sticker.
'Since you'll only make things awful you should go home, then,' said Emmett.
'I will!' said Sticker, and he packed up his bags and went home.
After that, Butter and Emmett boarded the plane. But then, just before the plane was about to lift off, Emmett realized that he had forgotten some of his luggage.
'That's okay,' said Butter, 'It's really not that important.'
'It is that important!' insisted Emmett. And instead of listening to Butter, Emmett left the plane to get his luggage. The plane left without him. Then Emmett thought how silly he had been, and was sad that he hadn't gone to Mus Toyia. He asked someone when the next plane was going to Mus Toyia, and he was told seven years! Emmett was disappointed about this, but he decided that Mus Toyia was worth waiting seven years for.
Meanwhile, Butter reached the aforementioned city: it was glittering, and beautiful, and it smelled like catnip, and it was every bit as wonderful (and more) as Butter had hoped it to be. He decided to live there forever, and one day, Emmett joined him, and stayed, too, and they lived happily ever after. Well, not Sticker. Sticker was miserable, but that was because he wanted to be."
"That's it?" asked Angelica. "That's the whole story?"
"Somehow I feel like you always say something like that," said Yvonne.
"I looooooved it!" whined Savio, spinning in happy little circles. He sat down for a moment. "I didn't like that it had cats, though." Then he noticed that there was something furry wagging around behind him, and thinking it was a cat, he pounced at it. Frustrated that it evaded him, he chased it in circles.
Yvonne picked up one of the many books that lay scattered around since Angelica had dumped them there. "Hm. Is this the edition of The Odyssey that you read?"
"Yep," said Angelica. "Read it all. Twice. In one day."
"Oh. Really now?" said Yvonne. She flipped through the book, which had seen better days. "You know," Yvonne said casually, "in my brilliant mechanical mind, I keep a complete catalogue of all the books that I have, and in what condition they're in."
She paused. She smiled at Angelica. Angelica was not sure that she liked that smile.
"This edition of The Odyssey is eighty-three years old. It has good collectible value," said Yvonne. Another pause. Another smile. "By the way, how many chapters are in the Odyssey?"
"Twenty-four!" said Angelica, beaming with pride. Savio stopped chasing his tail long enough to sigh at her and shake his head.
"Wrong!" shouted Yvonne. "They're called books, not chapters. Obviously you didn't actually read The Odyssey, especially since this particular eighty-three year old edition you allgedly read was a misprint, and is missing an entire book while another one is repeated!"
"How many other things did you neglect to read?" asked Savio, with a look of betrayal on his face.
"Uh-oh," said Angelica.
"I'll have to punish you with teeth brushing," said Yvonne.
Angelica laughed. "That's easy. I already brush my teeth, five times a day, too!"
"No," said Yvonne. "You have to brush Savio's teeth. Every day, three times a day, for the next three months."
Savio sat down in front of Angelica and let out a big breeze of hot, sticky, smelly dog breath. Angelica ran screaming away.
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HEY! this is yvonne
Your narrator... sort of.